So You Want To Be A Hipster?

After you failed at modelling, you decided to reconvert into hipsterdom. Parties? Binge drinking? Who's not to be up for it?? Here are some rules you have to follow to become THE best hipster-prototype in the scene.

But the base of all those is : attention seeking. You want to grab the attention. Whose attention you might ask? The photographer's of course! Who happens to have his very own, very hip website. What's the point of going to superfamous parties if you don't end up on the internet?

1. First of all, hipsters are individual. They are cool, original , and never ever follow the crowd. Right?

2.A girl hipster wouldn't be a good example if she did not have a bit of attraction towards ,not the opposite, but the same sex. Girl on girl. Lesbians are like so hot. What's a good party if there aren't any hot girls kissing and licking eachother? Be provocative and play with your tongue the most obviously you can. Always a good attention-grabbing scheme.

3. To attract (girls or guys), there's nothing better than wearing no bra. Your tits are at everybody's disposition, and it's so much more practical for speed sex. What's more bothering than a bra when you want to do it, fast? And sagging tits are like so it now.

4. A party wouldn't be a party without the cigs and booze. Just like models, smoking is unescapable. For the hardcore smoker, the more cigarettes you can put in your mouth, the better it is (and the better attention seeking too. Which, remember, is the base of the whole concept). Binge drinking and chainsmoking = ready to have fun.

5. As we go further in the whole attention concept, we see different signs that can make you interesting. Say, horrid neon rave clothes (the 90's never really did go away, did they), quirky hand signs, the well-known lensless glasses , clownish makeup, the list goes on.

6. When the camera shows up, all of a sudden you've got something like very important to say to your partner. Something so important that you must whisper it in his/hers ear, even though you know he/she can't act actually hear you because the music's so loud. But secrets are even more fun when the person can't clearly understand them.

7. But if with all this you're still not having fun, you can still just sit down on a alcohol-imbued disgusting couch with other bored people and use your super-expensive, super-new super-hip cellphone and send messages to your friend who couldn't make it because she was invited at Paris' post-jail party or write a post on your well-known and very interesting blog "OMG, this party sucks so hard, I can't have fun with people inferior to me. C U 2night". Because of course, as a hipster, you are very narcissic and consider nobody to be as good as you.

ps : post inspired by hipster-bashing bloggie The Golden Bob Cat