So You Want To Be A Hipster?

After you failed at modelling, you decided to reconvert into hipsterdom. Parties? Binge drinking? Who's not to be up for it?? Here are some rules you have to follow to become THE best hipster-prototype in the scene.

But the base of all those is : attention seeking. You want to grab the attention. Whose attention you might ask? The photographer's of course! Who happens to have his very own, very hip website. What's the point of going to superfamous parties if you don't end up on the internet?

1. First of all, hipsters are individual. They are cool, original , and never ever follow the crowd. Right?

2.A girl hipster wouldn't be a good example if she did not have a bit of attraction towards ,not the opposite, but the same sex. Girl on girl. Lesbians are like so hot. What's a good party if there aren't any hot girls kissing and licking eachother? Be provocative and play with your tongue the most obviously you can. Always a good attention-grabbing scheme.

3. To attract (girls or guys), there's nothing better than wearing no bra. Your tits are at everybody's disposition, and it's so much more practical for speed sex. What's more bothering than a bra when you want to do it, fast? And sagging tits are like so it now.

4. A party wouldn't be a party without the cigs and booze. Just like models, smoking is unescapable. For the hardcore smoker, the more cigarettes you can put in your mouth, the better it is (and the better attention seeking too. Which, remember, is the base of the whole concept). Binge drinking and chainsmoking = ready to have fun.

5. As we go further in the whole attention concept, we see different signs that can make you interesting. Say, horrid neon rave clothes (the 90's never really did go away, did they), quirky hand signs, the well-known lensless glasses , clownish makeup, the list goes on.

6. When the camera shows up, all of a sudden you've got something like very important to say to your partner. Something so important that you must whisper it in his/hers ear, even though you know he/she can't act actually hear you because the music's so loud. But secrets are even more fun when the person can't clearly understand them.

7. But if with all this you're still not having fun, you can still just sit down on a alcohol-imbued disgusting couch with other bored people and use your super-expensive, super-new super-hip cellphone and send messages to your friend who couldn't make it because she was invited at Paris' post-jail party or write a post on your well-known and very interesting blog "OMG, this party sucks so hard, I can't have fun with people inferior to me. C U 2night". Because of course, as a hipster, you are very narcissic and consider nobody to be as good as you.

ps : post inspired by hipster-bashing bloggie The Golden Bob Cat

Summer Heat

Again a messy-mixy post. Can't help it, my brain cannot work as it should because it's finally holidays (yayy!!) and it decided that, after numerous finals, it should take a break. So no clean stuff what-so-ever for some time now.

I really liked Cool Like Chloé 's post about summer. Read it. It kind of inspired me to write, heeee :D

Here we go.
What's hot (except the weather, heee) this summer? In Power Rangers Go land anyway. (Yup, a big land that fits in my head)

*Bobs! No, not Sponge Bob Squarepants (although I do love him), neither that working Bob-guy, I'm talking about hair bobs! I really like this 90's kid look I sported myself in the early days. As every other kid actually...so f done right , it can look really cool. Check out these people (from face Hunter). Models have caught up too. Beloved Olya Ivanisevic (patriotism again, ssssh) sports a heaaavy fringe with short carré bob whilst super-sexy super-hot Alison Nix opts for a Louise Brooks flapper haircut.
*The Greek Goddess. This summer, I decided I want to look like a Greek Goddess. Think lots of white, draping, and dark leather gladiator-inspired sandals.After spending some time in the Louvre with school, I decided the Diane Chasseresse looked really cool and her drapey dress looked very Chloé-ish back then. Check out Sophia Kokosalaki's craftsmenship! When fashion meets art...
*Your best friend : your bicycle. Eco-friendly and practical, it's got everything but bad sides : You'll save the planet, you can go where you want whenever you want , you don't have to depend on your parents to drive you somewhere (okay so this doesn't apply to US girls who can drive their own car soon) , no parking freak outs, plus you'll look hot as ever with your hair flowing in the wind and the sun shining on your skin while loosing calories and getting fit. Convinced?

*The ultimate party accessory: the cigarette-holder.If you smoke, say bye to smelly yellow fingers and say hi to elegance. I've been obsessed with those since I saw Chicago. Seriously, is there any other way to look sexy and elegant at the same time? Get in gear with a nude color palette and dropped-waist dresses à la roaring 20's or go Audrey Hepburn all the way.
*It's all about looking breath-taking with miles long legs. Think either minidresses or micro shorts. Minidresses are what you need, right now. Check out Gucci, Chloé, Christian Lacroix... As for micro shorts, Prada fo sho! Get your grab on satin shiny micro shorts (check out Bershka) or disco-glam gliterry highwaisted hotshorts the Chanel way. But you can also go out on the streets wearing...erm, nothing. Dear little panties seemed to be designers' favorite. Why bother with bottoms when you can go out in your underwear?
*Colors : white, anyone?. Crisp, clean, bright and cool white that will refresh you from the hot sweaty summer days. Always a nice classic.

Another favorite of mine? Bright green. There is such a springy feel to it, and I feel like a flower. The dream dress? Stella mcCartney. That dress seriously looks like a jewel to me. Just look at it! It's shiny, sexy, perfectly cut and and and oooh!

Have a nice summer!

So You Want To Be A Model?

Fine. So does everyone. But making it big in Modelland is much harder than you may think. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about (suuure). Being a BYT (Bright Young Thing) comports many rules you absolutely have to follow if you want to be SRF (Sexy Rich and Famous. Okay, I'm done with the stupid shortnings). As, for example, being DDG (Drop Dead Gorgeous. I'm done now, I swear).

Of course, I'll be nice and indulgent and give you the recipe to success ; (Which I of course also happen to follow and that's why you can see me literally everywhere right now like OMG Jeez) or, in this case, you could even say (that's the part where I drop a higly-complicated-nerdy-awesome latin word so your inferior-ness jumps at your face and "lève le voile sur ton ignorance".OKay, some french is good too) the..... cursus honorum. (told you it was awesome)

1. Be tall, skinny and pretty, it'll already make things easier. But if you happen to be short for model-height (A normal height by us, poor normal humans, say 175, is considered short in ModelLand), you gotta have IT to compensate.What It is, nobody actually knows,just like no one knows what there really is in your cheeseburger but whilst nobody knows,everyone keeps saying/eating it. So let's say IT stands for a specific Little something. It might either be an angry Siamese cat face (Sasha) , long bangs that keep going into your eyes and annoying you but you don't care, you got attitude yo (Irina) , a rock'n'roll androgynous vibe with short peroxide blond hair (Agynesss) , having literally 0 grams of fat and being famous for illustrating "When is thin too thin" articles (Snejana), gorgeous big wide set blue eyes contrasting with your long brown hair (Darla Baker) and, the most famous and the best-working, being a bleached anorexic cokewhore (do I really need to drop the name?)

2. The attitude. A model without attitude, is like a Bojana without her red nails. Or, nothing. Assume yourself, strut your stuff down the runway like you're the queen of Oompa-Loompas (which is seriously the greatest privilege of them all), i all your arrogance and beauty. Backstage, be proud of who and what you are. Never look at your feet. Head high. Stand straight. Be a bitch.

3.If you are already tall, there's only one thing left. Be skinny (of course) and pretty. If by any chance you come from the Czech Republic, no problem.But you other lovelies better beware of the Eastern European, the bitches have taken over the modeling world. Yes, indeed, being a long legged beauty with long golden locks just as if you came out of the Sleeping Beauty definitely helps.Oh, and if you have an unpronounceable name the length of your legs,such as Anna Mariya Urazhevskaya, be pretty sure most of the hard work is done. Think Anja,Hana, Tanya and the likes.

4.You got style. Dress to impress. Call it whatever you want, but as a model, working in the fashion industry and not knowing how to dress or having a style of your own is a good ticket to go back where you came from. But have no worries, being surrounded by designers and beautiful clothes will help. Tutus, slut lace tights, vintage, anything is good. But always remember, you have to shine by your presence and wear the clothes, not let them wear you. That's what your job is all about, right?

5.Let's face it, all models smoke, and so must you. Caring about lung cancer, your health? Come on, that cliché is so last year. You're young and pretty, who the hell cares about cancer? That's , like, for old people, right? So do it the most dramatically you can, all the time, always , everywhere. Chainsmoking with your other nicotine-addict gorgeous friends is like so hot right now, plus, it keeps you thin. Besides, Marc Jacobs put it on a sweatshirt in his latest collection, so it can't be that bad, can it?

6.If you're a lucky bitch and have all of the above except, unfortunately a classic beauty,don't worry, freaks are good too. Wide set eyes, alien features, cat similarities, mannish strong jaws,anything works. Sometimes, a unique face is more interesting than a plain pretty one. Do note : unique, yes, ugly, no. Looking like a bind turtle is not considered as unique, so if you do, sorry but NO WAY.

7.Now that you have all you need in your hands to become a supermodel, remember : HAVE FUN!

Party Time !!! Ceeeeelebration nanana come on!

The best thing about December, except the snow (when there is some) , the holidays and Christmas, it's of course the numerous parties.

When you think party, you think (well I do) eating, but you may think dressing too (obviously). And then starts the stress: "OMG like what am I gonna wear like OMG Jeez?" and you start swearing and saying OMG at least once every ten words. And there, ladies, come the Power Rangers to rescue you. So now I'll just pretend we all have money and eat caviar pancakes for breakfast with champagne and have Louboutin slippers and a gigantic bed with silk bedspreads and that , for parties, we of course all wear designer. Ready? POWER ,RANGERS, GO!

First, if there's one thing you have to remember, it's the word shine (also see my other article :http://powerrangersgo.blogspot.com/2006/10/shiiiiine.html) . Everything has to shine. Because the world is much better with shiny minidresses and shoes and because it's the only time of the year when you can over-dress and be tacky as hell without anyone making any comments because, let's face it, it's new year's eve party and anyway everyone is too drunk to say anything.

• Gold.

Ahhh....Gold. Is there anything more luxurious, more shiny and tacky and epitome of richness? No. And that is great. Wear an overload of golden accessories, with golden dresses and golden makeup. Drink and eat in golden glasses and plates and paint all your house gold (okay, maybe not that extreme)

• Drapey-ness

Because there's nothing sexier than a bright, jewel-toned, silky, drapey minidress. They enhance your curves and flatter at all the right places. Shexy feminine without being (too) slutty. The master is undeniably Versace, whose (slap me, but I don't want to lie) evening dresses I adore. Okay, now you can slap me but I won't change. I LOVE VERSACE. Mwahahaha (Cruella Devil laugh).

• Glitter

Ahhh...my passion for glitter. Glitter makeup, glitter shoes, glitter tights...Is there anything better than glitter when you want to shine? Party-perfect dresses and skirts were all over the runway with glitter dresses, so-tacky-they're-beautiful glitter tights at Gucci, and so on. The magnificence of glitter shoes (last year's Miu Miu) is also magnificently wonderful. the right touch to make a blah-day go supercalifrahilisticiousyougetit. And the best way to be the hot girl at a party.Woohoo!

• Brocade.

Yum. Luxurious, tapestry-like, over-the-top, wonderful. If it's all those adjectives, it has to be brocade. Dries Van Noten had marvellous brocade jackets and skirts, whilst Miu Miu ruled the runway with its shiny brocade minidresses and baroque-style wedges.

Now, if you don't rock the party and have all the guys swoon over you and the girls get jealous and try to kill you, there must be something wrong with you. Sorry!

How To Get The Sockie-Socks Right

This way, babe. http://www.hel-looks.com/
Helena (19) : "The skirt is from Berlin, the t-shirt from Lux, the sailor coat is ages-old and from Penny Lane second hand shop. The Pakistani scarf used to belong to my mother. At the moment I like grey, black and blue. Dresses and glittering shoes are my obsessions. Next I would like to buy a black-and-white patchwork dress by Wood Wood."