vendredi, juin 29, 2007

So You Want To Be A Hipster?

After you failed at modelling, you decided to reconvert into hipsterdom. Parties? Binge drinking? Who's not to be up for it?? Here are some rules you have to follow to become THE best hipster-prototype in the scene.

But the base of all those is : attention seeking. You want to grab the attention. Whose attention you might ask? The photographer's of course! Who happens to have his very own, very hip website. What's the point of going to superfamous parties if you don't end up on the internet?

1. First of all, hipsters are individual. They are cool, original , and never ever follow the crowd. Right?

2.A girl hipster wouldn't be a good example if she did not have a bit of attraction towards ,not the opposite, but the same sex. Girl on girl. Lesbians are like so hot. What's a good party if there aren't any hot girls kissing and licking eachother? Be provocative and play with your tongue the most obviously you can. Always a good attention-grabbing scheme.

3. To attract (girls or guys), there's nothing better than wearing no bra. Your tits are at everybody's disposition, and it's so much more practical for speed sex. What's more bothering than a bra when you want to do it, fast? And sagging tits are like so it now.

4. A party wouldn't be a party without the cigs and booze. Just like models, smoking is unescapable. For the hardcore smoker, the more cigarettes you can put in your mouth, the better it is (and the better attention seeking too. Which, remember, is the base of the whole concept). Binge drinking and chainsmoking = ready to have fun.

5. As we go further in the whole attention concept, we see different signs that can make you interesting. Say, horrid neon rave clothes (the 90's never really did go away, did they), quirky hand signs, the well-known lensless glasses , clownish makeup, the list goes on.

6. When the camera shows up, all of a sudden you've got something like very important to say to your partner. Something so important that you must whisper it in his/hers ear, even though you know he/she can't act actually hear you because the music's so loud. But secrets are even more fun when the person can't clearly understand them.

7. But if with all this you're still not having fun, you can still just sit down on a alcohol-imbued disgusting couch with other bored people and use your super-expensive, super-new super-hip cellphone and send messages to your friend who couldn't make it because she was invited at Paris' post-jail party or write a post on your well-known and very interesting blog "OMG, this party sucks so hard, I can't have fun with people inferior to me. C U 2night". Because of course, as a hipster, you are very narcissic and consider nobody to be as good as you.

ps : post inspired by hipster-bashing bloggie The Golden Bob Cat

31 commentaires:

The Stiletto Effect a dit…

ok the thing is... I LOVE THIS POST :D lol
hahaha very funny :)
******
Su

Audrey a dit…

Heee boka.. I like you a lot, you are such a funny girl.

The Glossy Editor a dit…

Boka! You're hysterical! Missed you too! Bis,

Emma a dit…

My God, you are HYSTERICAL.

Ana a dit…

very funny.im officially obsessed with your blog. and yes dutch girls do have a penchant for funny faces (im a dutchie.)

Emma a dit…

Oh, hysterical in a VERY VERY VERY good way.

Eli a dit…

this makes me siiiiick

i think the girl grabbing/sucking? the other girls boob is an americas next top model reject.

alexoor a dit…

ahaha "sagging tits are like so it now" xD

coco a dit…

this post is so funny i love it
and all the pics you have used are so cool

*** MeMiLy EdD *** a dit…

ha that twas a very funny post!!

katie-lilga a dit…

haha funny!

though i wont lie to you, i do feel a sudden urge to go partyyy hardy. oops!

discothequechic a dit…

I can't believe this was posted in june and I only saw it now!

Damn, I love your posts so much! They are always so spot on and funny.

haha, thats so right about the whispering. They just couldn't wait until after the picture? Hmmm...

S xx

PS, I'm glad that you liked my post! I'm rather excited about the whole thing, so keep your eyes peeled for Susie Bubble of Style Bubble's one which is up next!

a. a dit…

ohmygoodness! i adore your blog; i cant believe im just now finding it ;]

xx A.

jennine a dit…

yeah... i check this blog all the time...

: )

i wish i was a hipster. thanks for posting this! (hehe)

Bella a dit…

hilarious....now i TOTALLY wanna be just like them...not

Brad a dit…

lol funny

oh well I still love hipsters and their crazy ways

Alison a dit…

haha this post is hilarious, and you do always see people whispering in each others ears like "Oh I'll just turn my face into this persons head so they get my good angle, but I'll pretend to say something so I don't look like a total idiot". And they still pretty much always look like idiots.

Danielle a dit…

hihi, très drole...

Isabel a dit…

Ahaha, so funny! A great post.

Baby Jess a dit…

love this post!

Aisha a dit…

this post is SO funny! hahaha you're actually pretty good at blogging =) I've read some of your older posts too and they're cool =).

x

Jennifer a dit…

Those hipster kids are so strange and fake. eh. love the post though;)

muze1990 a dit…

Don't want to be a hipster as long as I live! Okay, going to parties is fun, but going there to seek attention? Noooo!

België was leuk! We zaten in Meiz, en hebben geraft, stadjes bezocht en veeel rondgereden :)!

DDL a dit…

I love you.
I really really do.

(you forgot the AA!!!!)

Aisha a dit…

ohmygod, i hate it when girls wear no bra!, doesn't look good at all!

Post soon ;)
I love your posts
x

muze1990 a dit…

Een paar vriendinnen zijn plannen aan het maken om naar die film te gaan. Lijkt me ook wel een leuke film!

Aisha a dit…

Ethnic russian matryoshka like scarves? I hadn't heard about them until you mentioned them on your comment =), I'm gonna google them right away =D!

post soon ;)

x

miss *ann a dit…

enjoyed this post so much.

Dilemma a dit…

This is frighteningly accurate. Especially about the 'OMG WE'RE LESBIANS BUT NOT RLY LOL'

dianabobar a dit…

funny! but this hipster thing is getting old, isn't it?

hannah a dit…

haha. i enjoyed this one.